Just a few things that I've found amusing, odd, sometimes
frustrating but always redneck.
I'll keep adding to these and probably have to add pages.
This page has become too full so I've started a second page redneckisms
too . If you've been here before you can go there now. If not read
to the bottom and then click on there.
Each day on my way to work I hear the buffet menu of a local restaurant
read by a woman who works there. Several times she has said an item comes
with what sounds like "R U Juice Gravy". I assume she's talking about Au
Jus but there's always the possibility it's some kink of gourmet redneck
dish, that I've never heard of, so if you've heard of this fill me in on
what it is.
Do you know how to tell if a redneck is level headed? The tobacco runs
out of both sides of his mouth.
I've noticed a particular sub-species of rednecks. So far I haven't
seen a female version of it. I call it the yeehaa (don't know about the
spelling but that's what it sounds like). A yeehaa is that type of redneck
that through some uncontrollable urge finds it necessary to yell YEEEEEEHA
as loud as possible for no apparent reason at all. Sometimes they travel
in packs. I understand yeehaas at rodeos and possibly other sporting events.
What I experienced takes it to a new level. A co-worker and I had been
to lunch at one of the nicer places (busboys even wear white shirts and
ties). There were two men ahead of us as we were leaving and one of them
stopped outside the front door let out one of the loudest yeehaas I've
ever heard. To his credit, he did wait until he was outside. My meal was
quite good but I must admit I wondered what it was he had eaten.
I'm passing along a redneck joke from Annette in Tennessee. "What are
the similarities between a tornado and a redneck with divorce papers? Somebody's
going to lose a mobile home!"
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If anyone else has a redneck story they would like to share pass it
along and if I like it I'll put it here.
I used to think when I watched a television show, with some good old
boy redneck sheriff, that no one actually spoke that way. Well let me tell
you something. After moving to Mississippi I've learned that there are
some that are worse. It's like a foreign language to me. I have a friend
(an educated good old country boy) that translates for me.
I heard two women discussing when they had strapped throat. I thought
at the time that sounds really painful.
I have a neighbor who has old tires, used as planters, an old window
air conditioner, a fishing boat, some used batteries, an old car, with
add on brake lights that stick up and are attached to the top of his trunk
lid, and various other items. All in his front yard. My next door neighbor,
a good old country boy that reminds me of Ebb on Green Acres, says that's
a typical redneck, keeps everything he owns in his front yard so he can
keep an eye on it.
I have another neighbor that I already noticed had two pink flamingos,
a couple of the windmill looking things that spin when the wind blows and
two birds, whose wings spin in the wind, stuck in his yard. A few days
ago I passed by on the way home and he had added a cow family, made out
of cutout plywood, consisting of a momma cow, a papa cow, and three little
baby cows. Momma was being milked by an old lady. There was also a little
boy, shown from the rear, with his pants pulled down peeing or who knows
what and a little girl with a shocked look on her face. That's why I said
who knows what. I asked my brother if he would consider this a redneck
sighting or just a case of bad taste. His reply was could be either but
not both because everyone knows rednecks have no taste at all.
Does anyone know where over yonder is? Seems everyone is going there
but me.
There's an area of Mississippi about 50 miles from here that must be
the chicken capitol of the world. There are quite a few processing plants
and chicken houses as far as you can see. You wouldn't believe the smell.
I pass through there occasionally and I've noticed that, even if their
house's walls are propped up with two by fours, there's a big dish out
front, to pick up 200 channels of wrasslin I guess, and a new pick up truck.
Priorities?
I found out, from my daughter a few years ago when she was in high
school, that in the redneck world you're considered rich if your mobile
home is a double-wide.
redneckisms part two the saga continues
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